Loyalties

>>Blind Loyalty
What kids are ready to do for their family out of loyalty? Bert Helliger in his books says, that kids are ready to die for their family (for their parents, especially for the mother). Kids are actually ready to die for their right to belong to the family, because otherwise they cannot survive. Out of such deep loyalty kids take on burdens that actually do not belong to them. They might belong to the mother, or father, or to other ancestors.This is what Hellinger calls Blind Love. Then kids become adults.

At least they look like adults, which is very often does mean they are. And they continue to sacrifice their life, health, success to the family, they keep carrying those burdens that do not belong to them. OK. This is that type of loyalty that actually does not work for the future, as Vlado Ilic says.
>>Other Way to be Loyal
There is different way to be loyal to your family. This is to learn how to respect your parents, to remember _your_place_ in the family, to remember that comparing to your parents you are always a child. Also this is not about suffering and sacrificing your life, health, success, happiness, but about opening your heart with love to all what is coming from your family to you. To everything.
>>This is NOT About Your Feelings, it is About Acceptance
If remaining in the state of the Blind Love this is much more difficult to get successful results from your constellation work. Because what you discover during this work, does not usually feel good. And the truth is, what you discover is not about your feelings, it is not about you like it or don’t. It is more about you agree with this or you don’t. Are you able to love it without judging, the way it is, or are you blindly in love with this, which is not very helpful. Blind love is pretty selfish. It has its natural reasons for that. And everything heavy, unpleasant that comes to you from your family does not want you to feel bad about it, it wants to be seen, loved, accepted.