Acknowledging Guilt

Feeling guilty is not just a feeling. This is often a feeling with consequences. A guilty feeling is looking for punishment and might be very successful in finding it. The deeper the guilt is the stronger the result can be.

The guilty feeling might be your personal or might be inherited from your family system (or from somewhere else). In other words the guilt your are carrying might be yours or not yours. This was often seen during family constellations sessions. Bert Hellinger says that guilt makes us ill and unsuccessful.

Very often we do not even realize that we feel guilty as we got used to it. This way we do not only harm ourselves but our family as well, especially our children. Taking responsibility for your own actions and learning not to take someone else’s responsibility upon yourself is a healthier way and a way to grow. During your family constellations session this is possible to see if the guilt is yours or not. Also during your session you can switch your attitude towards the situation that caused this guilty feeling. On your own you can teach yourself to acknowledge your guilty feeling. Once you get it, just say to yourself: “I realize, I feel guilty right now”. Even if you do not understand where it comes from.

Elena Nesterenko
Family and Systemic Constellations in Toronto