The Orders of Help

The first order of help:
The first order of help assumes that we only give what we have ourselves, and we expect only what we need and what we will accept.
The second order of help:
The second order of help assumes that we follow the circumstances and we only support the client as much as the circumstances permit. Such help is very restrained, but there is strength in it.
The third order of help: Adult-to-Adult
The third order of help is such help when helper acts as an adult toward the client and treats the client as an adult. This way helper thwarts attempts of the client to thrust helper the role of a parent.
The fourth order of help:
The perception of helper should be less personal and more systematic.
Working with the client is not about personal relationships.
The fifth order of help:
The fifth order of help is love to the human-being the way it is, even if it is different. This way helper is able to open his heart to someone who needs his help. Helper becomes a part of this human being. The one, who is in harmony with his own heart, can be in harmony with the client’s system.

Bert Hellinger. The Orders of Help.