Opening Your Heart to Victims +
Closing Your Heart to Aggressors/Murderers =
Becoming an Aggressor/Murderer Yourself
This simple formula is not really obvious. We usually feel sorry for victims and reject seeing aggressors. Read More
The first order of help:
The first order of help assumes that we only give what we have ourselves, and we expect only what we need and what we will accept.
The second order of help:
The second order of help assumes that we follow the circumstances and we only support the client as much as the circumstances permit. Such help is very restrained, but there is strength in it.
The third order of help: Adult-to-Adult Read More
The wise ones accept this world the way it is, without any intention or fear.
They agree to inconstancy and they do not try to reach beyond the death point.
They live in harmony and they interfere in something only when this is required by the life.
They can understand if something is possible or not, because they do not have any intentions.
Wisdom is the result of ones’ long work and discipline, but the wise ones do not waste any energy to become wise.
Wisdom is always on its way and it reaches its goals not because it searches for it. It just grows.
Bert Hellinger. The Orders of Help.
This topic is just an illustration. An illustration of what we all naturally tend to do but by doing this we harm ourselves. We naturally deny anything in us, what we do not like. We want to get rid of anything that causes us discomfort. And Ego is an easy example of this. When people say “this is all my Ego” there is always something negative about it. In other words, people simply blame part of themselves (and Ego is part of every person). As Vlado Ilic, a Serbian facilitator, always says, by denying parts of ourselves we simply turn into a some kind of leopard, because every time we deny part of us, we get another dark spot in our body. This is very important to understand: by denying anything (or having bad attitude towards anything in us) we just get another health problem (or life problem).
I often hear questions about depression: Do you ever get depressed? Does it happen to you that you do not want anything? How do you fight it?
At first – this is our most natural reaction to resist, fight or try to get rid of anything unpleasant in ourselves. A lesson learned from the family constellations work: resisting, refusing, fighting, trying to push away does not work. This is our natural reaction and we lose this way. Because the cause is much more powerful than us. It is endlessly powerful. So, fighting and resisting is a perfect way to get ill.
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Family constellations work is a method intended to reveal blockages preventing us from living successful and healthy life. The best way to understand this work is to live trough it, to experience it. Family constellations work is your personal way no one can live through except you.