Problem Children, Who are They? And if This are Them Who are Problem?

I’d like to share some information on this topic from the point of view of the family and systemic constellations method by Bert Hellinger. This method often offers a lot of unexpected insights. Here are a few of them on the subject of problem children:

Children are Saving Their Parents, Especially Their Mom. For the sake of their parents, especially for the mother, the children are ready to sacrifice everything. Literally. This phenomenon is so-called a blind children’s love. So when there is something wrong with the mother (children feel it!) Read More →

Belonging to the family for a child – it’s a matter of survival. An adult can take care of himself/herself, a child – no. The smaller the child, the greater the need to belong to the family.

There is such a thing as “interrupted movement.” The situation of interrupted movement occurs when the mother, for whatever reason, can not be with her child, and the child is waiting for her, he/she needs the mother. The child gets scared, angry, and then he/she stops in the final decision not to love anybody, because the pain is too strong. The younger the child, the deeper the trauma.
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Did you know that …

The ones who want nothing for themselves and only do everything for others – they destroy the relationship in a couple.

The ones who always forgive – this is, again, they destroy relationships.

“I did everything for him/her!”, “They have never argued, and then suddenly – divorce” and so on. These are very common situations.

Bert Hellinger, the author of the method of family constellations, discovered quite a lot of unexpected things. For example, for the relationship in a couple to be successful, must be a balance between “taking” – “giving,” and exchanging in good should grow. He also introduced the concept of “paying back with love.”
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Being able to find your place in life, understanding your own value – it’s a great gift. If you stop for a moment, drop all the ideas of what is right, and what is wrong, and ask yourself the question: “Am I happy as a woman?”, You can suddenly realize that, perhaps, no, not very happy. Why? Is there anyone to blame? This, in fact, not to find the guilty. It’s about where the root of the problem is. In most cases, the root of the problem is located absolutely not where we imagine it.
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