Family Constellations – What is It?

Family Constellations is a very deep, very profound soul work. The name is obsolete by now, but this is how people know it. It is fairly new to Canada. The work is specific to the client’s request. The work is usually being conducted in groups. There is the facilitator, the client and the group of people, who participate as helpers by representing different energies and aspects related to the client’s request.

The work the way it is, very practical, is brought to us by Bert Hellinger. Hellinger has found that there are fundamental mechanisms and laws in this 3-d world that affect our life here. He has found the reasons why people get ill, weak, unsuccessful in their personal, professional, business, and everyday life. Some people, for example, get into repetitive situations (like traumas, car accidents), and they do not understand why. This might repeat through the family generations.

The initial cause of today’s problems is, usually, some past traumatic event, but not only that. There are a few fundamental rules in this world. If they are not being followed, this creates energetic blocks, which in turn causes illnesses and problems for the descendants. And these rules are not being followed because of our natural reaction to the traumatic events.

One of the rules is called Belonging. Whoever got the right to belong to the system has this right. This right cannot be taken away. I’d like to focus on families now. Whoever got the right to belong to the family system has this right, and it cannot be taken away. People break this rule because they do not like the way other people get the right to belong to their family.

How do people get the right to belong to the family?
First: by blood, being a child it the family system. If the mother or both parents have decided to abort a child, they can do it, yes, and the child’s soul loses its body but the energy stays in the system. This soul feel lost, stuck, unloved, might have fear of the mother and more. The mother suffers very serious consequences as it is very painful for her to see what she have done, and the father as well. The future kids suffer even more. When they come to this world, they connect to this lost sibling out of love and they get depressed. They actually connect in not a healthy way. They feel like dying together. They experience the same as this lost sibling: they feel stuck, lost, unloved, might have fear of the mother. Constellations work helps to see the situation differently. And instead of dying together it shows how to live together.

The other way to get the right to belong to the family system is by having sex, even once is enough. If both parties do not care – fine, but if at least one person cares /about the experience – that is it, the person got the right to belong to the sexual partner’s family. The other person might not care or disrespect the partner, or the partners might breakup in blame and pain – this causes even a stronger bond, which results in both partners not being able to create the next successful relationship and their future kids pay even a higher price again, all because of an attempt to exclude the ex-partner. The constellations work helps including the excluded.

Another group of circumstances that make people relatives is when someone did something seriously good to someone: like saving life, helping financially, being a nanny, an adoptive parent etc. This group is more or less easy.

The most difficult are the traumatic ones: like murder, rape, taking financial advantage and so on. Because the experience is so traumatic or may be something is against the group morality, people tend not to speak of it, to forget it, to exclude it. This creates lots of problems in the system, especially for the future children. A few examples:
1. Addictions in man (like drug addiction, smoking, alcoholism, workoholism, any) – it’s been observed in many sessions that this often has to do (often, now always) with lack of connection to the father’s masculine energy. This might happen due to some traumatic event in the family past or parents might divorce without respect (the mother is trying to exclude the father because she thinks he is bad).
2. Feeling unhappy, lack of money, problems with work – this often has to do with lack of connection to the mother due to some past traumatic event, or may be the person tries to parent his mother and so on.
3. Depression in kids could be because of abortions, miscarriages.
4. Schizophrenia or psychosis often has to do with a murder within the family. This happens when botр energies, the perpetrator’s one and the victim’s one are together in one descendant, and they cannot find peace.
5. Epilepsy – as often an attempt to control murderous energy.
6. There are many more other examples.

Also I’d like to mention about relationships. When two people meet, this is not just two people, the whole family systems meet. Family systems are looking for a perfect partner to heal themselves. That is why it often hurts. Our partners mirror for us our wounds, so, instead of blaming them we might feel grateful for showing us what we’ve got to work on. Often, when the partners fight, this is not their fight, this is the fight of the excluded souls. Embracing them creates peace.