Joy

“I would like to say a few words about joy. I see how immediately brighten the faces. Once I wrote one aphorism: “The problem is difficult – the solution is joyful.” This joy, if has settled in us, lights up when we communicate with others, no matter how difficult our problem was.

Why a problem is difficult? Is it really so difficult? Or is it only a small obstacle on our way to something bigger, and we can easily step over? Difficulties often arise because of our ideas about them. They also arise because we intervene with the lives of other people and take upon ourselves something that belongs to them, as if we can and have the right to do it.

Imagine that you come to someone and say, “I will take care of all your problems – all you have to carry yourself, I am taking away.” How will you feel? Better or worse? This way you are going to lose your dignity. But if you come to the client as a helper, and say to him/her: “Here you are in front of me, and I see that you’re part of your family. I see your parents and your ancestors, and your destiny, and your mission”- then I step back and become lighter.

Joy is light and, surprisingly, it has the power. At the same time as the hard one is weak.”

Bert Hellinger “The Orders of Helping”