“Mistakes”

“Bad” experiences or “mistakes” – this is something we often tend to get rid of, forget, like it never happened. There is no bad experience, there is experience. Any experience can be used to grow or to get stuck in it.
Your experience is the foundation for your next step.
By rejecting your experiences you kind of create a hole under your feet. This is the trap you fall into every time you step there.
If respecting your every single experience, if saying “YES” to it (this is what Bert Hellinger teaches, saying “yes” to everything that comes to you) you get a chance to learn how to do it better next time.

Here is a simple example. Lets say you are learning to be an artist, a painter. You paint an image. The result is just “horrible”. Well. Without painting this one, you are not able to step to your next one. So, is it “This is horrible, I cannot stand it, I did a poor job” or is it “Yes & Thank you” to that image? What attitude helps you to successfully move forward and grow? By the way, do you feel the difference in the energy, when reading both sentences?

Learning From Children

Also, another example. When a baby is learning to walk, the first steps, are they as “good” as the steps of an adult? No, of course they are not as good, they are, actually, much better. This first experience is a pure treasure. If you have ever had a chance to see the eyes of a baby making his/her first step, this is just… oh…! So, we can actually learn from our children. We can learn to be happy with our experiences.

Integrating Your Experiences

You can help yourself to truly integrate your difficult or “not very successful” experiences by facing the sensations developed by this experience in your body. I do it when I am alone. I close my eyes and look inside, I feel myself. It might find pain, or anger, or any other feeling. I just keep looking. I allow the feeling without fear and wait. At the beginning the feeling might be… wow… very strong. And it gets better as I keep looking. This is how it integrates so you do not reject it any more.
You can also face your rejected energies during your family constellations session.

Elena Nesterenko
Family Constellations Workshops in Toronto