Responsibility

Bert Hellinger, the originator of the Family Constellations method, in all his books speaks of responsibility. He always points to the importance of facing your responsibility and taking the right load upon yourself. This is as important as the life.

Taking responsibility and taking only your responsibility is life important.

Why is this so important?
Not taking your responsibility makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful.
Taking someone’s responsibility, again, makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful.

Not taking the right responsibility load makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful.

Bert Hellinger has discovered three fundamental life laws. And one of them is called The Hierarchy. By breaking this law people take too much and too little of responsibility and get ill, weak, and unsuccessful. How does this work? We all belong to our family systems. Speaking of the family systems, this law states: Whoever came to the family system earlier has a higher place in the family hierarchy, this cannot be changed.

The hierarchy law: Whoever came to the family system earlier has a higher place in the family hierarchy, this cannot be changed.

For example, your mother is big in compare to you, always. And you are small in compare to your mother, always. This cannot be changed. In the most of cases people break this law while trying to save their mother. If the mother is ill or is suffering some difficult circumstances, the child, out of the blind child’s love, is ready to do anything for the mother, even to die, to help her, to save her. Children think, that suffering instead of your mother and for your mother may anyhow help her. This does not help but also this does lots of harm to the child and creates an extra load on the mother.

You and your mother – this is where you initially learn to take your right responsibility load.

In other words, people break this initial responsibility and after that the whole life is affected. Once you cannot learn sharing responsibilities in your family (mostly with your mother), you do not know how to take the right load in your life: personal, social, professional. You easily over-help your spouse, partner, friends, coworkers, managers. You basically ruin your life by breaking the hierarchy, you do not know how to set your boundaries and you do not know how to respect the boundaries of others. This, for example, creates lots of difficulties in your personal and social life; the people near you do not feel respected. By, for example, trying to help your ill mother by carrying her illness, you do not help her, but you take her illness upon yourself. By carrying something that does not belong to you, you make yourself weak, as someone’s destiny is not easy to carry. And being busy with someone’s problems makes you simply unavailable to your own life tasks.

About Family Constellations method by Bert Hellinger
This is the way of making you available to your health, relationship, profession, to you successful life, whatever success means to you. During the family constellation session you can work on any important life matters. Sessions are conducted either in groups or one-on-one, either in person or over Skype.

Elena Nesterenko – Family Constellations Facilitator
(647)367-6073
info@constellations.work